September 2, 2012

Friendship: The Significance of Timing

My friend and I became friends when his family moved into my neighborhood when we were both kids. My friend was an outcast and very different from other kids at an early age. Parents questioned his sexuality early on and not in a good way.

He loved cleaning, girls' things, dressed differently, talked differently, and had feminine mannerisms. This certainly sounds like a very special friendship that shaped both you and your friend in fundamental ways: This relationship helped you both learn how to navigate growing up in a straight world of peers and parents that wasn't always very kind or nurturing.

I think the best way you can salvage this friendship is to work on yourself, make other gratifying connections in your new city, and to be less dependent on your friend for helping you at this point. He may not see himself as competition with you; rather, he may see you are more peripheral to his life that he is to yours.